By: Muhammad Aamir
A Muslim must love Allah and his Messenger PBUH more than anything in this world and it is obligatory for a Muslim to prioritize his love for his Creator and His Messenger PBUH over the love of anything else, that’s why Allah swt says in Quran:
قُلْ إِن كَانَ آبَاؤُكُمْ وَأَبْنَاؤُكُمْ وَإِخْوَانُكُمْ وَأَزْوَاجُكُمْ وَعَشِيرَتُكُمْ وَأَمْوَالٌ اقْتَرَفْتُمُوهَا وَتِجَارَةٌ تَخْشَوْنَ كَسَادَهَا وَمَسَاكِنُ تَرْضَوْنَهَا أَحَبَّ إِلَيْكُم مِّنَ اللَّهِ وَرَسُولِهِ وَجِهَادٍ فِي سَبِيلِهِ فَتَرَبَّصُوا حَتَّىٰ يَأْتِيَ اللَّهُ بِأَمْرِهِ ۗ وَاللَّهُ لَا يَهْدِي الْقَوْمَ الْفَاسِقِينَ (24)
Say, [O Muhammad], “If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your relatives, wealth which you have obtained, commerce wherein you fear decline, and dwellings with which you are pleased are more beloved to you than Allah and His Messenger and jihad in His cause, then wait until Allah executes His command. And Allah does not guide the defiantly disobedient people.” (Translation:Sahih International)
But while studying the Quran, Allah swt emphasizes the importance of love, respect and the obedience of parents after His love, respect and obedience, it says وَٱعْبُدُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ وَلَا تُشْرِكُوا۟ بِهِۦ شَيْـًۭٔا ۖ وَبِٱلْوَلِدَيْنِ إِحْسَنًۭا وَبِذِى ٱلْقُرْبَىٰ وَٱلْيَتَمَىٰ وَٱلْمَسَكِينِ وَٱلْجَارِ ذِى ٱلْقُرْبَىٰ وَٱلْجَارِ ٱلْجُنُبِ وَٱلصَّاحِبِ بِٱلْجَنۢبِ وَٱبْنِ ٱلسَّبِيلِ وَمَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَنُكُمْ ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَا يُحِبُّ مَن كَانَ مُخْتَالًۭا فَخُورًا
And worship Allah And (do) not associate with Him anything, and to the parents (do) good, and with the relatives, and the orphans, and the needy and the neighbor (who is) near, and the neighbor (who is) farther away, and the companion by your side and the traveler and what possess[ed] your right hands. Indeed, Allah (does) not love (the one) who is [a] proud (and) [a] boastful.
Surah Nisa; Verse; Verse 36
In other verse Hé swt says وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوٓا۟ إِلَّآ إِيَّاهُ وَبِٱلْوَلِدَيْنِ إِحْسَنًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ ٱلْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَآ أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَآ أُفٍّۢ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًۭا كَرِيمًۭا
And has decreed your Lord, that (do) not worship except Him Alone and to the parents (be) good. Whether reach with you the old age one of them, or both of them, then (do) not say to both of them a word of disrespect and (do) not repel them, but speak to them a word noble.
Surah Al Isra; Verse 23
At one more place He swt says قُلْ تَعَالَوْا أَتْلُ مَا حَرَّمَ رَبُّكُمْ عَلَيْكُمْ ۖ أَلَّا تُشْرِكُوا بِهِ شَيْئًا ۖ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا ۖ وَلَا تَقْتُلُوا أَوْلَادَكُم مِّنْ إِمْلَاقٍ ۖ نَّحْنُ نَرْزُقُكُمْ وَإِيَّاهُمْ ۖ وَلَا تَقْرَبُوا الْفَوَاحِشَ مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا وَمَا بَطَنَ ۖ وَلَا تَقْتُلُوا النَّفْسَ الَّتِي حَرَّمَ اللَّهُ إِلَّا بِالْحَقِّ ۚ ذَٰلِكُمْ وَصَّاكُم بِهِ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَعْقِلُونَ ‘
Come, I will recite what your Lord has prohibited to you. [He commands] that you not associate anything with Him, and to parents, good treatment, and do not kill your children out of poverty; We will provide for you and them. And do not approach immoralities – what is apparent of them and what is concealed. And do not kill the soul which Allah has forbidden [to be killed] except by [legal] right. This has He instructed you that you may use reason.’
Surah Al Luqman; Verse 14-15
In above verses Allah swt is calling Muslims to his Tawheed and prohibiting from doing Shirk but just after that he is commanding Muslims to be good with the parent by that way we can understand the importance of parents.
Allah swt loves to be good with the parents as once Prophet Muhammad PBUH was asked, “Which deed is loved most by Allah?” He replied, ‘To offer prayers at their early (very first) stated times.’ ” `Abdullah asked, “What is the next (in goodness)?” The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “To be good and dutiful to one’s parents,”
Sahih al-Bukhari 5970
There are so many sayings of Prophet PBUH but I want to mention an important Hadith of Sahi Al Bukhari here in which Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said thrice, “Shall I not inform you of the biggest of the great sins?” We said, “Yes, O Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ)” He said, “To join partners in worship with Allah: to be undutiful to one’s parents.” The Prophet (ﷺ) sat up after he had been reclining and added, “And I warn you against giving forged statement and a false witness; I warn you against giving a forged statement and a false witness.” The Prophet kept on saying that warning till we thought that he would not stop. (Sahih al-Bukhari 5976)
A person is naturally and emotionally attached with parents. They (parents) are like two eyes of a body – left eye father and right eye as mother, and they are directly connected with your blood, heart and mind.
In normal life when sometimes your father comes late from his work, you feel like something is missing at home and you don’t take dinner until he joins you. You feel like home is turned into a dessert when your mother stays at some relative’s for a night and the next day, you anyhow want your mother to be back home.
But when a person studies Quran and Hadith regarding the rights and the importance of parents, the concept gets totally changed as he understands that it is not just a natural attachment but it is obligation to take care of, to love and respect them, and to obey them if their saying is as per Quran and Sunnah because Messenger of Allaah, SAW said
لا طاعة لمخلوق في معصية الخالق
‘There is no obedience to any created being if that means disobedience to the Creator.’ (Saheeh al-Jaami’ : 7520)
But the yesterdays news has shocked me. Infact not only me but the entire valley when we heard that two disgraceful sons have killed their father and dumped his body in Dal lake. This shocking incident is murder of humanity and conscience. We must demand a stern and serious punishment for these culprits and at the same time, we have to understand the main reasons of such kind of incidents.
As per my understanding and observation, the main reason is that we are deviating from the techings of Quran and Sunnnah. We are striving to provide best worldly facilities and quality modern education to our kids but we don’t teach them Quran and Sunnah. If a parent will understand his duty towards his kids and what are the rights of kids on a parent prescribed by Islam, they will never go astray and such incidents will never occur in our society.
I don’t say that don’t give best facilities to your kids nor I say that don’t give best quality Modern education to your kids, no not at all. But I say don’t forget to teach them Quran and Sunnah. If you, as a parent, forget to educate your kids about the teachings of Quran and Sunnah, tomorrow they will forget you somewhere in old age home or someday they will forget your importance in their life and incidents like yesterday will get repeated.
We stress on parents to understand their duties and responsibilities towards their kids before it is too late .
Responsibilities of parents for caring and upbringing their children are mentioned in the Qur’an as well as in the Hadith. Allah swt says in holy Quran:
“O, Believers Save yourselves and your dependents from the fire whose fuel are humans and the stones.”(Qur’an, 66:6)
It is mandatory to mention here that a man once came to ‘Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab (Ra) with a complaint against his son’s disobedience to him. Umar summoned the boy and spoke of his disobedience and negligence to his father and about his rights. The boy replied: “‘O Ameer al-Mu’mineen (Prince of believers)! Hasn’t a child rights over his father?’ ‘Certainly’, replied ‘Umar. The boy asked, ‘What are they Ameer al-Mu’mineen?’ ‘Umar answered, ‘That he should choose his mother, give him a good name and teach him the Book (the Qur’an).’ The boy said, ‘O Ameer al-Mu’mineen! My father did nothing of these. My mother was a Magian (fire worshipper). He gave me the name of Julalaan (meaning dung beetle) and he did not teach me a single letter of the Qur’an.’
Turning to the father, ‘Umar (Ra) said, ‘You have come to me to complain about the disobedience of your son. You have failed in your duty to him before he has failed in his duty to you; you have done wrong to him before he has wronged you.’” If the parents discharge the responsibility properly they will be rewarded in this world and hereafter.
Kids are not only to be well-fed, well-dressed but it is very important that we provide them a good education for this world and hereafter. A parent has a duty to strongly train his kid(s) morally and spiritually.
Muhammad Aamir is a Kashmir based Daiee of Islam and presently living in Ankara, Turkey. Muhammad Aamir is the President of Islamic Fraternity Kashmir, Editor of The Islamic Revival (Monthly), Chairman of Islamic Global School, Srinagar, He can be reached at email@example.com.